Providing resources and support for survivors of spiritual abuse and authoritarian control as they navigate the choppy waters of recovery.

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Spiritual Stinginess


Do not eat the food of a begrudging host,
do not crave his delicacies;
7 for he is the kind of person
who is always thinking about the cost.[b]
“Eat and drink,” he says to you,
but his heart is not with you.
8 You will vomit up the little you have eaten
and will have wasted your compliments. Proverbs 23:6-8

Be wary of spiritual leaders who ration out the gospel in tiny increments, as if there's a spiritual drought and God's love is in short supply. God's Kingdom is a banquet, not a soup kitchen.

“Come, all you who are thirsty,
come to the waters;
and you who have no money,
come, buy and eat!
Come, buy wine and milk
without money and without cost. Isaiah 55:1

29 People will come from east and west and north and south, and will take their places at the feast in the kingdom of God. Luke 13:29

“First of all, in order for someone to recover from something, they have to realize that there is a problem, something to recover from. And when you have so much invested in being “right,” in being the one who “knows,” and you have led so many people down the road—well, it takes us back to the equity issue. Perpetrators of abuse have a major equity investment in the system. It’s hard to lose that. Also, it would have to be a horrifying realization to recognize that many of the things you have been doing for God have really hurt people. There is an incredible amount of equity that would be lost by admitting the need for help in this area. God will always offer grace. That is not the issue. The issue here is whether or not a perpetrator has a capacity to receive grace. Most don’t even think they need it. Grace just bounces off. It’s just like with any other issue. If the person who needs help doesn’t think they need help, then no one can help them.” – Jeff VanVonderen interview with National Association for Christian Recovery