In their book The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, David Johnson and Jeff VanVonderen used the term spiritual abuse to describe a phenomenon that they had frequently encountered in their respective ministries. They define spiritual abuse as “…the mistreatment of a person who is in need of help, support or greater spiritual empowerment, with the result of weakening, undermining or decreasing that person’s spiritual empowerment.” They hone in with the following functional definition:
“Spiritual abuse can occur when a leader uses his or her spiritual position to control or dominate another person. It often involves overriding the feelings and opinions of another, without regard to what will result in the other person’s state of living, emotions or spiritual well-being, or is used as a means of “proving” a person’s spirituality.”
Spiritual abuse can and does occur, at varying levels, in a wide variety of religious settings. Most spiritual abusers do not deliberately abuse, nor are they aware that they are abusive. There are spiritual, psychological, and social dynamics at work when people misuse their spiritual authority to abuse the flock, which is why, at Sparrow Ministry, we emphasize education in these foundational pillars as an antidote to authoritarian abuse in high-demand organizations.
Identifying the Abusive System
In Part I, Chapter 5, of The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, Johnson and VanVonderen identify the following characteristics of spiritually abusive systems:
Power-Posturing - Power posturing simply means that leaders spend a lot of time focused on their own authority and reminding others of it, as well. This is necessary because their spiritual authority isn’t real - based on genuine godly character - it is postured.
Performance Preoccupation - In abusive spiritual systems, power is postured and authority is legislated. Therefore, these systems are preoccupied with the performance of their members. Obedience and submission are two important words often used.
Unspoken Rules - In abusive spiritual systems, people’s lives are controlled from the outside in by rules, spoken and unspoken. Unspoken rules are those that govern unhealthy churches or families but are not said out loud. Because they are not said out loud, you don’t find out that they’re there until you break them.
Lack of Balance - The fourth characteristic of a spiritually abusive system is an unbalanced approach to living out the truth of the Christian life. This shows itself in two extremes:
Extreme Objectivism
The first extreme is an empirical approach to life, which elevates objective truth to the exclusion of valid subjective experience. This is seen in religious systems where even though the Holy Spirit’s work might be acknowledged theologically, on a practical level it would be suspect, or denied.
Extreme Subjectivism
The other manifestation of lack of balance is seen in an extremely subjective approach to the Christian life. What is true is decided on the basis of feelings and experiences, giving more weight to them than to what the Bible declares. In this system, people can’t know or understand truths (even if they really do understand or know them) until the leaders “receive them by spiritual revelation from the Lord” and “impart” them to the people.
*The following characteristics are what make these abusive spiritual systems so difficult to escape:
Paranoia - In the church or family that is spiritually abusive, there is a sense, spoken or unspoken, that “others will not understand what we’re all about, so let’s not let them know - that way they won’t be able to ridicule or persecute us.” There is an assumption that (1) what we say, know, or do is a result of our being more enlightened than others; (2) others will not understand unless they become one of us; and (3) others will respond negatively.
Misplaced Loyalty - The next characteristic of spiritually abusive systems is that a misplaced sense of loyalty is fostered and even demanded. We’re not talking about loyalty to Christ, but about loyalty to a given organization, church, or leader. Once again, because authority is assumed or legislated (and therefore not real), following must be legislated as well. A common way this is accomplished is by setting up a system where disloyalty to or disagreement with the leadership is construed as the same thing as disobeying God. Questioning leaders is equal to questioning God.
Secretive - When you see people in a religious system being secretive - watch out. People don’t hide what is appropriate; they hide what is inappropriate. One reason spiritually abusive families and churches are secretive is because they are so image conscious. People in these systems can’t even live up to their own performance standards, so they have to hide what is real. Another reason for secrecy in a church is that the leadership has a condescending, negative view of the laity. This results in conspiracies on the leadership level. They tell themselves, “People are not mature enough to handle truth.” This is patronizing, at best.
Excerpted from The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, Johnson, David & VanVonderen, Jeff, The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, Bethany House Publishers, 1991